Welcome one and all to my life and I will be your host. My life is pretty simple. I'm 19, I have a job with a non-profit community. I'm going to college in the fall. I have a boyfriend of 3 years. I live in an apartment in Seattle.
Everything seems pretty peachy from the outside, but thats just the outside.. Inside, I have a lot of anxiety about my life.
Philip, my boyfriend, and I are trying to find ways that we can stay together and make enough money to move next year. I'm sure that I will be fine once I get to college..because I'll be staying in the dorm. Philip on the other hand would have to move and get a job and find an apartment. We've been thinking about that all year..Last night, we were talking and he proposed that he go into the air force. I guess that would pay for housing, school and all that stuff. But the other thing is that he wants is to get married. I was really taken back by this. He's always mentioned that we'd stay together and we'd be together, but he never directly said he's gonna marry me. We'd have to get married really soon though..because I'll be moving in the summer and Philip's supposed to sign up around the same time. Married couples get 600 dollars more to live off base. There's a base in MA too. So that works out really well. We wouldn't be able to tell anyone about it..besides government officals and things for taxes etc. That extra 600 dollars would go to Philip to live and such and I would be taken care of by school, loans and parent's money.
Although I was really surprised, I felt really happy. That we finally found a great solution to our problem. I feel bad for Philip though because he has to slave his life away in the Air Force, but then again they don't get shipped off. I wouldn't want to become a widow so quickly..
I'm really excited about school. I'm realizing how close the day until I move to MA is. I'm so excited! I love being a student!! I've decided what program I'm going to go into. I'm going into the Enviornemental Science Major. Its something that comes easily to me and it'll be good for me. I like animals and plants and such. I was really thinking about going into social work.. and then nursing so I could do public health. I'm thinking twice about it though. I need to be realistic.
I'm feeling so dreamy though because Philip and I are really going to do this!! We're gonna get married and everything. I don't want my parents involved though..they'd be COMPLETELY against the idea..We're probably going to do it in private with only a few of our close friends present. It'll mostly be on paper and in front of a judge..but we're going to do it. We won't get to live together, but there won't be anyone to tell me that I can't spend a few nights at Philip's place..*wink wink nudge nudge* I'll spend my weekends with my hubby! Won't that be romantic?? Then we can finally sleep in the same bed and wake up next to eachother and really feel what married life is like..*happy sigh* We used to be able to do that..but not so much anymore. Mom and Dad think I spend too much time away from work and home. Whatever. Those work-a-holics don't do anything else BUT work. They don't take vacations either..I do though. I think I'd go crazy if I didn't get to..
Being with Philip is like floating on a cloud. I love being with him. I love being his girl..being cuddled up next to him. I love cooking him breakfast. I love to lounge in my underwear without fear of interruptions.. I love it when he does sweet things for me..god, I just love him. Getting married like this is like something from a fairy tale.
Anyway, I should probably try to make an effort to do something productive now. Until next time..
-Susan